
Forgiveness. It’s okay, take a deep breath. I am aware this word can hold a lot of weight. For some of you, it may be as casual as any other word. For others, it is the “weird thing Christians recommend when you would rather slash an offender’s tires.” Regardless of your relationship with the official term “forgiveness,” all of you have been conditioned to follow this outline of how to respond when someone upsets you. Forgiveness can be summarized in these three steps:
1. Receive: Acknowledge something bad happened to you.
2. Recover: Process and release revenge.
3. Restore: Seek healing.
Today, I want to focus on step #2. In many ways, encouraging a moment of recovery is excellent. As mentioned above, it allows time to process the occurrence. This model is Biblical, and it is helpful. However, today I realized there is a need for clarification.
For several weeks, I have felt hurt bubble up inside of me, concerning several people. Small comments have piled up to create one large junkyard of unrest within me. After one too many rants to my husband, I realized these wounds were quickly becoming weights. Let me tell you about my history with weights---I do not like being weighed down. However, the days have passed, and I find myself still adding onto the metaphorical dumbbells at my feet. Transparently, I am unprepared to forgive these people.
Why?
Because I am still hurting. And the world taught me that I need to finish recovering before I restore.
I can think of someone long ago who experienced hurt. Jesus Christ was a perfect man punished for crimes He did not do. Imagine the coolest, kindest person you know. Times them by one million, but then arrest them for no good reason. That is exactly what happened with Jesus, except I can tell you He is better than any infinite Paul McCartney you just created in your head.
This man, this JESUS, was brought into the world in a humble, dirty stable. He was raised in Christ and performed miracles never seen before. He loved all, and He brought hope to all. The result? It seemed too good to be true. His followers turned into offenders. They scoffed at Him, and they beat Him. As the offenses started to pile, Jesus took it with holy stride.
On a night full of unrest, we see Jesus processing all that had happened and all that was going to happen. In Luke 22:42, He prayed-- “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”
He sat in this moment, feeling all that had happened to Him. He hoped the moment of pain would pass, but this was just the beginning of God’s plan. The next day, Jesus was crucified. In the crowd of thousands He came to save, He became a joke hanging on a tree.
Luke 23:32-34 says, “Two others, both criminals, were led out to be executed with Him. When they came to a place called The Skull, they nailed Him to the cross. And the criminals were also crucified—one on His right and one on His left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” 24 hours prior He longed for the pain to subside. He sat in a moment of recovery. But aren’t we glad Jesus did not wait until the pain was gone to restore through forgiveness?
Instead, He added forgiveness in the pain. He chose forgiveness IN the feeling.
So, let us move forward using the childhood model of forgiveness, but may I challenge you to add this Christ-like consideration? Receive, Recover, and Restore when someone offends you. However, be careful that you do not use your recovery time as an excuse to continue operating in discord. Choose forgiveness in the pain. The presence of forgiveness will not eliminate the pain. However, I can tell you forgiveness is God’s beautiful way of turning dumbbells into directions.
If you are currently reluctant to move forward with forgiveness, here is a prayer I often use to help me through the process. Join me in praying:
Father God, I acknowledge that ______ hurt me. Their action made me feel _____ about them and ______ about myself. Despite feeling this way, I choose to release the desire to pay them back for what they did to me. I choose to forgive them now as I am hurting, and in the future if the hurt returns. I thank you for their ______. Help me to see them the way that you see them. Amen.
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