When You Can’t Move On: Understanding And Breaking Soul Ties

Part One: When Your Soul Is Still Holding On

Have you ever had someone walk out of your life, but it felt like they still had a key to your soul?

Maybe it was an ex you haven’t seen in years, but their name still triggers a flood of emotion. Maybe it’s a friendship that ended badly, and you find yourself replaying the last conversation like a broken record. Maybe it’s someone you were never supposed to be tied to in the first place, but something about that connection feels too deep to just “move on.”

That’s what we call a soul tie—and today, we’re going to talk about what it is, how it forms, how it messes with your mind, and how you can finally break free.

What Is a Soul Tie?

A soul tie is a deep emotional or spiritual bond that links your soul to someone else’s. Sometimes, it’s beautiful and God-ordained—like the covenant friendship between David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 18.1, where their souls were “knit together.” But other times? Not so much.

When that kind of soul-level connection happens outside of God’s design, it becomes an open door for confusion, torment, and emotional chaos. A soul tie forms when your heart clings to someone in a way God never intended. And let’s be honest—we’ve all clung to something (or someone) longer than we should have.

Where Soul Ties Come From

Here’s the thing: soul ties aren’t always obvious. They don’t always come with neon signs or toxic text messages. Sometimes they start in places that feel safe...until they’re not.

Unhealthy soul ties often form through:

• Sexual relationships outside of God’s covenant of marriage between a husband and wife.

• Manipulative or abusive dynamics where control replaces love

• Over-dependence on a person for your identity or sense of worth

• Codependent friendships that blur the line between loyalty and bondage

And when those ties go unchecked, they create emotional fusion, where your identity gets tangled up in theirs, and you forget where they end and you begin.

Let’s Make It Real: Two Stories

Let me walk you through two examples, I have personally witnessed in ministry. See if either one hits home.

1. The One That Got Away (But Still Has a Piece of You)

You dated someone in college. It got physical fast. You thought they were “the one.” But it ended, and you went your separate ways. Except… your soul didn’t. Even now, years later, they still pop up in your dreams. You compare new relationships to them. You hear their name and something inside you stirs. You’re not in love, but you’re not free either. That’s not just nostalgia. That might be a soul tie.

2. The Best Friend Who Became a Burden

You had a best friend who became your emotional lifeline. Every prayer, every decision, every breakdown, they were your first call. But over time, the friendship became heavy. Maybe even controlling. When they pulled away, it didn’t just hurt; it felt like abandonment. You still feel guilty when you set boundaries. You still wonder if you “owe” them something. That, too, might be a soul tie.

How to Know If You Have a Soul Tie

Let me give you a few questions that can help reveal what your heart might still be carrying:

• Do I feel emotionally stuck to this person, even though the relationship is over?

• Do I replay conversations or moments with them in my mind on a loop?

• Do I feel obligated, guilty, or even owned by them—even now?

• Do they have more influence over my emotions than the Holy Spirit does?
  

If your answer to any of those is yes, it may be time to cut the tie. If something holds more emotional power over you than the voice of the Holy Spirit, it might be a soul tie.

Breaking Free (God’s Way)

Let me be clear: God doesn’t reveal these things to shame you. He brings them to the surface because He wants to heal you. Freedom isn’t a one-time prayer; it’s an invitation to walk out of bondage and into wholeness.

Here’s how we walk that path:

1. Repent

Ask God to forgive any sin connected to the relationship—sexual, emotional, or otherwise. Be honest. He’s not afraid of your truth.

“God, I repent for giving my heart away outside of Your design. Forgive me and cleanse me.”

2. Release

Forgive the person. Let go of the memory. Bless them, even if they hurt you. That may sound hard, but it’s the key to your healing.

“God, I forgive them. I release them. I bless them in Jesus’ name.”

3. Renounce

Now speak with authority. You don’t whisper your way out of spiritual bondage.

“In the name of Jesus, I break every ungodly soul tie with [insert name]. I sever its influence over my heart, mind, body, and spirit. I belong fully to Christ.”

Say it out loud. Hell needs to hear it!

4. Replace

Don’t leave an empty space—invite the Holy Spirit to fill what once was entangled.

“Holy Spirit, fill every place that was tied to them. I receive Your peace, Your purity, and Your truth.”

Pause and Listen

Let’s not rush this moment. Close your eyes and ask the Lord:

“Jesus, is there anyone I’m still tied to that You’re asking me to release?”

Wait. Listen. Write down what He shows you. Then walk through the steps above.

You don’t have to live tangled anymore.

Final Word

Jesus didn’t just die to forgive your sins, He died to untangle your soul. If this spoke to you, stay tuned for Part Two where we dive into familiar spirits—those invisible forces that keep you drawn to the same broken patterns over and over. Until then, if you feel the Holy Spirit stirring anything up, don’t brush it off. Let Him in. Freedom is closer than you think. 

You can break free from every negative influence present in your life! If you want to go deeper into the spiritual and emotional wholeness that God has for you, check out my book, Encountering Abba’s Heart, or use the purchase link below.

Encountering Abba's Heart