The Healed Identity: Freedom from an Oprhan Lifestyle
- Samuel C. Petty
- Apr 9
- 4 min read
An orphan lifestyle is a negative influence that causes us to feel rejected, abandoned, and disconnected from God as our heavenly Father. When affected by this influence, we often struggle with feelings of insecurity, fear, deep anxiety, and a lack of belief in one’s values and worth. Unworthiness due to an orphan lifestyle leads us to seek others' approval and validation for what we do and who we are. I have witnessed an orphan lifestyle manifest in several ways in those I have ministered to:
Feelings of isolation and abandonment. We may struggle with trusting others and fear rejection, leading to detachment from the community.
Performance-based Identity. We may base our self-worth on our achievements and performance, believing we must earn love and acceptance through what we do.
Relationship Walls. We may have difficulty forming meaningful relationships by avoiding vulnerability and fearing that opening up will lead to further hurt or abandonment.
One of the greatest limits to our relationship with God that accompanies an orphan lifestyle is it blinds us to the truth of God’s love for us, which disconnects us from our true identity in Christ. This can manifest in additional behaviors that strive for acceptance, such as embracing deep-seated rejection and isolation. Freedom and emotional healing from an orphan lifestyle happen when we embrace our heavenly Father’s love by renewing our mind with the truth of His word and power for heart transformation.
Questions to Ask:
In what ways do you show love towards others?
How have you received love from others in the past?
How would you describe yourself when you assess your value in relationships with others on a scale of 1 – 10? (1 – not belonging or valued, 10 – belonging and valued.)
Do you feel you deserve to be loved and accepted by others?
Have you ever served God to earn His love?
Do you feel those you are in a relationship with are interacting with your “true self,” or have you put up walls, boundaries, or emotional barriers?
Do you feel you’ve used other people to accomplish your goals?
Do you fill the void of inner pain by constantly working, physical gratification, narcissistic behavior, and/or self-indulgence?
Are there any lies you believe about God’s Word, your identity in Christ, or God’s promises to you that may be influenced by an orphan lifestyle?
Connected Influences: Disconnected, discontent, fatherlessness, lack of identity, lack of peace, loss of inheritance, motherlessness, nomad, not wanted, outsider, restlessness, unsettled, barrenness.
Scriptural Truth:
“Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—this is God, whose dwelling is holy. 6 God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.” (Psalm 68:5-6)
“The Lord protects the foreigners among us. He cares for the orphans and widows, but he frustrates the plans of the wicked.” (Psalm 146:9)
“This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: Judge fairly, and show mercy and kindness to one another. 10 Do not oppress widows, orphans, foreigners, and the poor. And do not scheme against each other.” (Zechariah 7:9-10)
“No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you.” (John 14:18)
“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” (James 1:27)
How to Pray for Breakthrough from an Orphan Lifestyle:
You may pray aloud, using each step below:
REALIZE: "Lord, I confess (negative influence) is an area that limits my walk with You. Would You show me the first time I experienced this?"
RELEASE: "Lord, who I need to forgive for influencing this in my life. I choose to forgive (name of person) for (what they did or failed to do). It made me feel (share your emotions with the Lord). I release them from any debt they owe me and repent for judging them. I choose to bless them."
"Lord, do I need to forgive myself for how I responded to this negative influence?”
"Lord, am I holding onto judgment or unmet expectations of You because of this negative influence?"
REPENT & RENOUNCE: "I repent of partnering with (negative influence). In the name of Jesus Christ, I renounce my agreement with (negative influence). I choose to hand this to You.”
Lord, I also renounce my agreement with (any connected negative influences).
RECEIVE: "Lord, what do You want to give me in exchange for the negative influence I have given You?"
What truth do You want me to walk in, based on Your Word, Your promises to me, and my identity in Christ?" (Write down and give thanks for the truths that you received from the Lord!)
You can break free from every negative influence present in your life! If you want to go deeper into the spiritual and emotional wholeness that God has for you, check out my book, Encountering Abba’s Heart, or use the purchase link below.
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